Boutonniere Etiquette: The Ultimate Guide You Need To Know

The proper wearing of a boutonniere demonstrates a respect for formalwear traditions. Mastering boutonniere etiquette requires understanding its historical connection to floral symbolism. Occasions such as weddings frequently demand adherence to established boutonniere etiquette, underscoring its importance for participants. Therefore, this ultimate guide addresses core principles for boutonniere etiquette to provide authoritative guidance.

Boutonniere Etiquette: Structuring the Ultimate Guide

This guide will focus on providing a comprehensive and easily digestible resource for anyone wanting to understand the proper way to wear and handle a boutonniere. The structure below emphasizes clarity and answers the most common questions surrounding "boutonniere etiquette."

What is a Boutonniere and Why Does Etiquette Matter?

• Begin by defining "boutonniere." Explain that it’s a floral decoration typically worn by men on their lapel.
• Briefly discuss the history or tradition behind wearing boutonnieres, giving context for its formality.
• Emphasize why etiquette matters. Point out that proper boutonniere etiquette demonstrates respect for the occasion, the host, and the overall event. It ensures you look polished and appropriate.

The Correct Way to Wear a Boutonniere

This section focuses on the practical aspects of boutonniere placement and securing it properly.

Placement: Pinpointing the Ideal Location

• Explain that the boutonniere is worn on the left lapel of a suit jacket or tuxedo.
• Specify that it should be placed through the lapel’s buttonhole (if one exists). If there’s no buttonhole, it should be placed on the lapel, near where a buttonhole would be.
• Visually demonstrate the ideal height of the boutonniere; the base of the floral arrangement should sit approximately midway between the lapel’s peak and the shoulder seam.
• Include a small "Warning" that boutonnieres should never be placed on the shirt collar.

Securing the Boutonniere: Pins and Proper Techniques

• Describe the standard method for securing a boutonniere using pins.
• Explain that typically, boutonnieres come with one or two pins.
• Provide step-by-step instructions (numbered list) on how to pin the boutonniere:
  1. Hold the boutonniere in the desired position on the lapel.
  2. From the back of the lapel, push the pin(s) through the fabric.
  3. Catch the stem of the boutonniere with the pin.
  4. Push the pin back through the fabric to the back of the lapel, securing the boutonniere.
  5. Ensure the pin heads are hidden on the back of the lapel.
• Offer tips on alternative securing methods if pins aren’t available or if the fabric is delicate (e.g., using small magnets designed for this purpose).
• Mention the importance of checking the boutonniere periodically to ensure it remains securely attached.

Boutonniere Dos and Don’ts

This section presents a clear and concise summary of acceptable and unacceptable boutonniere practices.

Dos: Embracing Proper Boutonniere Behavior

• Do: Wear a boutonniere when appropriate for the event (weddings, proms, formal dances, funerals).
• Do: Ensure the boutonniere complements your outfit, not clashes with it.
• Do: Discreetly adjust the boutonniere if it becomes loose or crooked.
• Do: Remove the boutonniere before engaging in activities that might damage it or cause it to detach (e.g., vigorous dancing or sports).

Don’ts: Avoiding Boutonniere Blunders

• Don’t: Wear a boutonniere to casual events.
• Don’t: Wear a visibly damaged or wilted boutonniere.
• Don’t: Overlap a pocket square and a boutonniere; choose one or the other. If using both, the boutonniere takes precedence.
• Don’t: Use excessive pins that could damage the fabric of your jacket.
• Don’t: Be afraid to ask for assistance if you’re unsure about placement or securing the boutonniere.

Boutonniere Etiquette by Occasion

This section provides tailored advice for specific events where boutonnieres are commonly worn.

Weddings

• Distinguish between the groom, groomsmen, and guest boutonniere etiquette.
• Groom: Usually has a boutonniere that coordinates with the bride’s bouquet. It may be larger or more elaborate than those of the groomsmen.
• Groomsmen: Boutonnieres should coordinate with the wedding colors and be similar in style, but slightly different from the groom’s.
• Guests: Male guests are generally not expected to wear boutonnieres unless specifically requested by the wedding party.
• Address who is typically responsible for providing the boutonnieres (usually the wedding party).

Funerals

• Explain that wearing a boutonniere to a funeral is a sign of respect and remembrance.
• Suggest simple and understated floral arrangements are appropriate.
• Color guidance: muted colors like white, cream, or pastels are often preferred.

Proms and Dances

• Suggest coordinating the boutonniere with the date’s corsage or dress.
• Offer guidance on choosing appropriate floral styles and colors for these events.
• Suggest less formal flowers, depending on the venue.

Boutonniere Care: Keeping Your Flowers Fresh

This section offers tips on extending the life of a boutonniere.

Pre-Event Preservation

• Advise on storing the boutonniere in the refrigerator (in a sealed plastic bag) before the event to keep it fresh.
• Explain that a light misting of water can help maintain hydration.

During the Event Maintenance

• Suggest avoiding direct sunlight and excessive handling to prevent wilting.

Post-Event Preservation (Optional)

• Briefly mention methods for preserving the boutonniere as a keepsake (e.g., pressing, drying with silica gel). A simple explanation of the drying process will suffice.

Frequently Asked Questions About Boutonniere Etiquette

This section addresses common questions about boutonniere etiquette in a Q&A format.

• Example questions:
  • "Is it acceptable to wear a fake flower as a boutonniere?"
  • "What if my jacket doesn’t have a lapel buttonhole?"
  • "Who traditionally pays for the boutonnieres?"
  • "Can I wear a boutonniere to a business meeting?"
• Provide concise and straightforward answers to each question. This should cover most of the remaining reader queries.

Alright, now you’re practically a boutonniere etiquette pro! Go forth and rock those lapels with confidence.